Hello? Am I in There?
Confession: I’d like to be good at things.
Wait, is this a silly thing to “confess”? I mean, wouldn’t everyone like to be good at things?
I think the people who know me, the ones with whom I’m honest, know that motherhood has knocked me down a peg or two in the cocky department. My self esteem just isn’t what it was. I used to take things on with a can’t-fail attitude. Lately I hardly take them on at all. And if I do, I feel defeated almost before I’ve begun.
There are things, small and large, important and non-essential, that I’d like to be good at. At the top of that list would have to be motherhood. I want to excel at this particular venture more than anything. Literally. But then there are the inconsequential bits of life that, if I’m honest, I’d like to be better at.
This blog, for one. (not that I’m calling you inconsequential, all eight of you who have happened upon this jumble of thoughts).
I got a camera for Christmas and I’d really like to be able to use it well. (but every time I Google search a tutorial, I get fuzzy-brained just a couple “tips” in.)
Keeping my house clean on a daily basis (rather than the epic cleaning battles that go down each weekend – ok sometimes every other.)
Growing things (both to eat and to admire and in many cases, both).
Dancing. Snowboarding. Running.
Finishing projects around the house.
Starting projects around the house.
Keeping up with friends.
February always makes me antsy, and that’s probably why I am riffling through my mental list of would-be hobbies and ineptitudes. Even though I don’t really live in a place with “winter” there’s something ingrained in me from the endless chilly, grey days of February where I grew up.
But sometimes this time of year also inspires me to change things up. To try harder. So, two months into this “new” year, I think I’m finally ready to make a resolution. To get some of my audacity back. To try new things instead of just dreaming about them.
I’ll let you know how it goes.