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Bordering on Hysteria

March 29, 2011

I just need to stop trying to figure my body out.  I get it, okay?  I get that I don’t get it.  Stop beating me over the head with it.

I’ll spare you all the sordid details.  But my waking temperature has been all over the place – a couple of spikes that proved to be flukes.  Weird conflicting symptoms combined with extremely positive OPK’s two nights in a row make for a bit of confusion.

I know what my body is trying to do.  It’s trying to make me throw up my hands and say “I give up!”

But I won’t.  I refuse to do it.  Right now, anyway.

It actually got to the point today where I started to wonder if what I thought was my period a couple of weeks ago actually *wasn’t* my period, and I’m actually about seven weeks pregnant.  Yeah, I know.  Sounds totally desperate.  But my freakish temperatures combined with bouts of exhaustion and nausea, plus an increased appetite of late – it just confused the hell out of me.

But yeah.  I’ve figured it out.  You know what it all means?  Two things: Jack and Shit.  My chart this cycle is a joke.  My body has the last laugh.  But the cycle isn’t over yet.  I guess I could still make a comeback.  Maybe.  The problem is that my body actually has to cooperate.

That RE appointment can’t come soon enough.  One week to go before someone who might actually know what the f*ck he is doing will step in and try to figure this all out for me.  Thank goodness.

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