The End is Near

(because I like apocalyptic blog titles, apparently)

Well hello there. ***stretches. yawns.*** ahem. we took a bit of a break there didn’t we? Let’s see if we can’t make May a little better than April, shall we? So far so good, as I’ve got more to report than I could possibly write about today. So that means more than one post this week. You’re welcome.

With all the things that *did* happen in the world – royals wedded, evil-doers slain, kittehs attacked by raccoons – I’m thinking I’ll start with something that *didn’t* happen last night. Or at all yesterday, actually.

I didn’t nurse my son.

I’ve hemmed and hawed a LOT in real life and a bit on this blog about weaning my baby boy – who is not so much a baby any more. I don’t know if I was putting faith in the fact that things will work out how they’re supposed to or if I was sticking my head in the sand, but I have been choosing to ignore the fact that it is pretty much time to end that particular thing. I have nothing against extended breastfeeding (he’s nearly 23 months) or breastfeeding while pregnant… I just don’t really feel like it’s right for our family. So my plan (well the latest version of the plan) was to wean before I got pregnant again.

We started TTC this month. I will most likely ovulate in the next couple of days, if all goes well. Nothing like the last minute, eh?

But the way it happened was just sort of perfect. See, I didn’t force it last night. He chose books over nursing and I let him. I suspected he’d put up a fight when he realized I was serious about the “either/or” scenario. He didn’t. And that was that. It was the first day in his entire existence during which he got zero nourishment from my body.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t for a second believe that tonight will go off so easily. And I’m not even saying that I don’t plan on nursing him tonight. I think I’ll probably offer to read with him and if he asks then nurse him a little. These days it’s only a couple of minutes per side anyway, I don’t really even know how much he’s getting. I don’t think he’s weaned or anything.

But it’s a step. A step I definitely needed. I feel like he’s becoming ready, on his own terms, to start letting go of the habit. He might not be 100% there yet, and that’s ok. As long as I know that he’s not going to be traumatized when the taps shut off for good. And after last night I feel like he won’t.

Because how can you say no to a face like this?

It’s a good feeling.

ok more to come on the kitty vs. raccoon, but just so you know – I will probably leave the world news to cnn and tabloids.

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