Out of Bed

So technically, technically, I am not on bedrest anymore. You wouldn’t really know it to look at me, since I am still spending most of my time on the couch. But after three weeks of little to no movement, your body really doesn’t want to cooperate, you know? I am trying to ease back into regular life slowly but surely.

The good news, of course, is that I am no longer on strict bed rest! The SCH is shrinking very slowly, but it is shrinking, and that is fabulous. I haven’t had any red bleeding *knock on wood* since the first horrific episode, just some spotting of varying degrees, which is unpleasant but far less scary. I had my first appointment with my OB on Monday, and he really was not concerned about the SCH. He said they are incredibly common and usually go away and lead to happy and healthy babies. Since our chickpea is developing right on schedule (in fact, a couple of days ahead of schedule), the SCH is clearly not affecting his/her growth, and therefore we don’t need to worry.

Huzzah!

I have lived on the edge of my seat the past three weeks. Not literally, of course, because I’ve actually been nestled somewhat uncomfortably on my couch or in my bed. But I have been in a constant state of trying-to-be-zen-when-I’m-really-panicking. Constantly worried that this baby is not going to stick, that the world could be that cruel, that after all we have been through we won’t get to keep our little miracle and oh my God will we never actually get to have a baby. I haven’t let myself voice these things out loud, except in weak moments with my husband and a lot of tears. But now that we are *mostly* out of the woods (again, *knock on wood* really really firmly) I am able to acknowledge that.

But seeing our chickpea rocking out in my womb on Monday, and hearing the doctor say that everything looks good and he isn’t worried, well, it was a pretty amazing moment. I do still have to seriously limit my physical activity, meaning no exercise and no sex. (Boo). But hell, I don’t have to stay on my arse all day anymore and that is good enough for me. For now. I am really hoping that at some stage soon I’ll be allowed to try for some gentle exercise and get back in shape a bit. My calf muscles are gone and my hips have gotten insanely wide. Maybe the latter would have happened anyway with the pregnancy, but I hate that I’ve lost all definition.

And then there is the sex. It is just too cruel to tell a couple that they can’t have sex during pregnancy. I *know* how it is going to be after the baby is born, there is just not going to be the time or energy or opportunity for much of a sex life. Now is the time that we are supposed to have several months of marital bliss before the baby invades our life. But I guess our baby found a way to do it a bit earlier. No sex, mom and dad, ever again! Okay so the OB didn’t actually say we can’t have sex for the entire remainder of the pregnancy, but at least for the foreseeable future.

I’m not really complaining. As much as I love my husband and our sex life, I am willing to sacrifice for the health of our baby. I’m not that crazy. I’m just saying, if there is a way to have both…well yeah, I’d like that.

(Total side note, I wonder if I am going to regret using the word sex so much in one post. We’ll see what kind of spam comments we get.)

This post is all over the place, I apologize. I’m excited to be sitting upright, what can I say. The transition back to my OB wasn’t as painful as I expected, though I already miss the level of attention we got at the RE’s office. I miss Dr. T. (Sniff.) But it will be okay. Now we’re in Dr. M’s hands, and after Monday’s appointment I am reassured that they are very good hands to be in.

Also, we were able to have our first trimester screening done on Monday. We haven’t gotten the blood test results yet, but the ultrasound technician did say the measurements she got were good and within the “normal” range. So fingers crossed that all is well on the blood test front. I also had to get some genetic screening done thanks to my Jewish ancestry, even though Dr. T never thought it was necessary since my husband doesn’t have a drop of Jewish blood in him, and generally both parents have to be carriers before something like Tay Sachs is a real risk. But whatever, I will submit myself to any and every test that Dr. M recommends if it all leads to a baby at the end.

So on we go. I am 11 weeks and 3 days pregnant, my baby is the size of a lime, and my SCH is slowly withering away. Life is getting better every day.

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