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No, We Haven’t Done That Yet

January 16, 2012

There are so many things to do and buy before a baby comes.  Yes, we’ve had about nine months to do them.  More like six if you remove those first few months when I was too superstitious to do anything.   And it’s not like I’ve been sitting on my arse in denial the entire time, refusing to do anything.  We bought the crib and mattress really early.  We bought the car seat super early.  We were off to a good start.  My baby shower was early enough to help us determine what we still needed to buy while there were still a couple of months left.

We took our classes, we read lots of books (well, I did anyway).  I asked my doctor all kinds of questions.  We made some important decisions in the birth plan category and we are very close to having a name for our son.

But somehow, lately I feel like all the questions I am getting from (well-meaning) friends and family members, about whether we have done X, Y, or Z yet, my answer is “No, we haven’t done that yet.”  And can I just say, this adds to my stress level by about ten degrees each time.  So people could really do me a huge favor and STOP ASKING.  I know they are excited for us, and they are thinking of things they know parents are “supposed” to do in those last weeks before the baby arrives.  But it makes me feel like a slacker, and it also makes me feel like I’m being crushed under a gigantic weight of the ever-growing to-do list.

The question we get more than any other lately is whether we have finished the nursery yet.  Ha. Ha ha.  Finished??? We only *started* the nursery about three weeks ago, and that was due to circumstances partially beyond our control.  The floor in that room was damaged and we were waiting to have it fixed before we could do anything.  Finally, when the carpet was laid, my husband put together the crib that had been sitting un-assembled in a closet for several months.  Only to find that there was some hardware missing and therefore he couldn’t finish it.  He has contacted the manufacturer and a never-ending back-and-forth of e-mails has taken place, but we have yet to receive the missing hardware, or even to be assured that it is on its way.

Deep breath.  The rug I ordered was on back order until March, so we had to pick a different one.  We did, and it came.  We finally got around to purchasing a glider and ottoman, but were told it won’t be ready until after the baby is born.  We had an old rocking chair we could use in the meantime, but then I sat in it and it broke.  (Let’s not even go into the bruise to my ego on that one.  I chose to laugh it off).  I found some artwork I like for the nursery wall, and a lamp that I like, but my husband and I haven’t had time to sit down and discuss whether they are the right choices for us.  We finally chose a dresser and ordered it, and it should arrive soon.

And to top it all off, my husband has a vision of curtains that he wants for the nursery, but they do not appear to exist, and so the search for them is ongoing.  So no, the nursery is not $@$*! done, thank you very much for asking.

And then yesterday? Yesterday I was asked whether I have packed my hospital bag yet.  No, no I haven’t.  And I almost hyperventilate thinking about it.  It is something that should be so simple, yet I haven’t even purchased some of the items that need to go into it.  And I kind of want to pick our baby’s going home outfit before I pack the bag, for some stupid reason.  And in order to do that, I need to wash all the clothes we’ve been given and decide what will be his going home outfit.

I like to think I still have lots of time to do all these things, along with the other twenty or so items on our to do list.  Today I am 36 weeks, meaning we theoretically have about four weeks left.  This week is my last week at work, and then I will have much more time to tackle everything, so I am trying to wait until then to get serious about it.  But having everyone ask me repeatedly whether I have done these things yet is just freaking me out.

And just when I manage to talk myself down from that ledge, to remind myself to ignore the incessant annoying questions because we still have weeks to go until our due date, then someone insists that there is NO way I am going to make it to my due date, because I’m so friggin huge.


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